Why You Need To Stop Focusing On People Who Do Not Support You

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

Being around unsupportive people was the story of my life at one point. Don't get me wrong, I always had a handful of close friends and family who supported me, but there was an imbalance of people who I was "cool" with that didn't support. Of course this annoyed me to no end. I would rack my brain around why people who claimed to like me so much wouldn't support anything productive that I did. Yet whenever it was time for a good time, a party, a laugh, they'd come around like clockwork.

Thankfully, I began to grow out of worrying about who was and wasn't supporting me. It was too much time being wasted thinking about who wasn't sharing my artwork or blogposts and why they weren't. It's so liberating that that part of my life is water under the bridge.

There are many reasons why friends, family, and/or associates my not support you. Here are a few:
  1. Jealousy/Envy: Ah yes, the classic green eyed monster. However, let's not always jump to accusations of hateration in this dancery. 
  2. Competition: Unfortunately a lot of people haven't gotten the memo that it's more than enough room for everyone to prosper. 
  3. Your Work May Not Be That Great: We are our biggest fans, and we should be, but that doesn't mean we can't put out some janky work from time to time. This is why, going back to #1, we have to remain humble and not always jump to conclusions of people being jealous.At the same time, a real friend or family member would encourage you to work on your craft.
  4. It's Not Them It's You: Sometimes you may be the problem. I know that's not popular to say in this "it's always someone else"/"toxic people"/"cut off" social media climate, but no one is without flaw. Maybe your attitude and the way you treat people isn't the best. Maybe you're an obnoxious butthole. Before we start pointing the finger at possible "haters" who don't want to see you win, sometimes we must first examine ourselves. 
  5. Not Interested: That's wonderful you handcraft miniature figurines, but unfortunately the average person you associate with may not be into that. 
  6. You Don't Support Them: You have to give support to get support too. Don't be so self absorbed with yourself that you forget to interest yourself into what others are doing.
We also have to realize that no one is obligated to support us. Yeah, it would be great for cousins, associates, and social media followers to immediately jump on our bandwagons as soon as we put out that book, that makeup line, or that music video, but we have to gain support. Although it may get frustrating to see people support celebrities that they don't know instead of their friends and family, to a very small degree (and I do mean a very small degree because I think not supporting friends and associates is on the petty side) I understand why. Although celebrities have large fanbases, they did have to start off small and gain a following. Plus, who said this journey would be easy? This is apart of the package when it comes to building whatever you want to craft for your life.

The world is so much bigger than the people you went to school with, the people in your family, the people you grew up with and so forth. I've been running my blog, vintage store and creating and selling my art and jewelry for a couple of years and the support I've received from people I never met is astounding, especially with my art business.

Sometimes I have to sit back and take it all in like "Damn. There are people across the country and in different countries wearing my jewelry and hanging my artwork in their homes." The comments, emails, and love is overwhelming. If I decided to continue to fight for the people "around me" to support me, I'd still be doodling in sketch books as a hobby. You cannot and should not wait for the people around you to support you. They are not the end all be all. Even if they do support you unconditionally, the support doesn't stop there.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
Unfortunately some people we know and grew up with still see us as the way we were when they first met us. I have old classmates who still see and try to treat me as the 5th grade or 10th grade girl they once knew long ago (key word: try to). I've come to realize that when people can't accept your growth, it's due to them being stagnant, stuck, and in my case uncomfortable with someone deemed as "less than" coming into their own and glowing up. Folks love placing people in boxes based off their sole and biased encounters and interactions with you no matter how long ago and despite your come upance. I don't mean to brag or toot my own horn, but that's exactly what my experience has been like. Skip them.

Some people would rather wait until the world appreciates you to later hop on to your bandwagon. Don't take it personal or get sidetracked. At the beginning of the day and at the end of the day, your progress and your journey matters the most. The same people who doubted you, overlooked you, and ignored you will be all up in yo' inbox and IG comments telling you how (fake) "proud" they are of you. Stay focused despite that.

In my own life, being an underdog and not having a lot support has made my journey a lot more interesting. While I was focused on the lack of support, I was angry and even became bitter. And that is exactly how we block our blessings. I'm so beyond that part in my life and so focused on building my brand(s) and creating for and working with people I've never met, I had to chuckle at how foolish I once was. I've accepted it and embraced my situation to the fullest. The unsupported journey builds character, a strong sense of independence, and it's motivating.

Accept not having supportive people around as a challenge that;s merely a stepping stone in your journey. Instead of harping on lack, choose a mind state of abundance and take the opportunity to expand your circle(s), relationships, and worldview. Step out of your comfort zone, meet new people, network. Worrying about unsupportive people is counterproductive and brings unnecessary stress and doubt when there are folks out in the world who are waiting to see what you have to offer. If you must, charge these unsupportive people to the game and rearrange your circle.

The world doesn't start or end with the people you came up with. Whatever you're doing, make sure your character is on point, you're humble, your work is quality, and you're putting your all into your goals. The world's population is 60 billion and growing. Stop worrying about the 50 people in your hometown who aren't supporting and flourish through your journey.

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How do you handle a lack of support from peers, family, and friends? What made you stop worrying about unsupportive people? Share below!

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  1. Wow, this post resonated so much with me! I've definitely been receiving a lot of support in terms of my blog from people all over the world as opposed to my friends nearby. I would just tell myself that maybe they're not interested. Thanks for sharing. xoxo